the importance of self care for recovery.

The period of time after a traumatic event is difficult to deal with, it took me a little while to recognise my emotional trauma from what had happened as I was in survival mode for the first few months, completely suppressing a lot of the emotional impact it had on me whilst I focused on my physical healing.

But I had become so angry and frustrated with everything and everyone, I was shutting off from people and disassociating from nearly everything in my life, I couldn’t concentrate on the most simple of tasks and I would cry all the time. I was angry at every single person that would pop up on the telly and smile, I was jealous that every one else got to keep their face and I was just sat there not being able to eat cereal without it falling out of my mouth.

But once I started to voice my feelings to my neurologist - who has actually acted like a therapist in some ways, she really understands the impact that long term paralysis has on a person from working with her patients for years - I learned that the emotional pain wasn’t going away on it’s own.

I had not only lost my movement, but my identity, and how I saw myself. I no longer look in the mirror and see the person I was a year ago, part of that has to do with the physical change, but also the emotional trauma I've been through. I didn't want to be the shell of the person I was anymore and I realised that I now needed to put myself first in every sense, I started recognising what I needed, emotionally, mentally and physically every day in my life.

Self care looks different to everyone, but I found a few things that work for me and are helping me with my healing, and now I want to share them with you to help aid your self care and well being.

1. classic self care.

Your classic self care evening will always be a winner for me. Crack out the face mask, the candles, sweet treats and wine and give yourself the basic b**** evening of your Pinterest dreams. A lot of people will think it’s so obvious but for that reason I think it’s sometimes overlooked as an actual form on self care.

Doing these simple acts can help you switch your mind off for a little while, I actually love to do it occasionally after my physio stretches in the evenings. My face can be so red and sore from being stretched out so a soothing mask, a cup of tea and my favourite book or magazine helps to take my mind off everything, and simply learn to enjoy my alone time again and not have to fill it with an activity or distraction.

2 . unfollow unrealistic social media accounts.

I found this to be the most cleansing thing to do and it’s so simple! I found it really hard to go on Instagram after my FP and see so many perfect faces, filters and images that totally weren’t real. So the first thing I did was unfollow loads of accounts that were selling me an unrealistic image of what they were telling me my life should be, filled with face filters and editing, hair gummies and diet pills.

This massively helped my mental health and let me focus on my recovery without putting pressure on myself to reach these unrealistic beauty standards, which for me were never going to happen. I instead started to follow accounts that promoted real self love and positivity, so now I don’t dread opening the app every time!

3. take time each day to do what you love.

Sometimes we can forget to do the activities that bring us joy. I know my day can be so consumed with work and mundane tasks like washing up or hoovering. But try to put aside maybe an hour a day to do something you really enjoy, whether it be reading, playing music, gardening, gaming, knitting who knows, but taking back your time for you to simply enjoy yourself is so important.

If you’re like me you’ve probably found your interest in hobbies slip away and not always feeling enthused, so maybe on these days just slob out and watch tv or have a nap. I’ve realised to never push myself when I don’t feel like it, but when you get the urge to do something, please do it.

4. try some yoga.

Again some may think it's a little cliche, but I’ve started practicing yoga every morning and can quite happily say it works. Whether it’s just 20 minutes or almost an hour, it really helps me lower my stress levels before my day has even started and give my time and attention back to my body.

Losing control of my facial muscles was such a big thing for me to accept (still am) so practicing yoga has given me control back over my body. When I was sick I could feel my body just seizing up from being in bed all day, so to now give it the exercise and time everyday it needs has made me feel so much happier and more positive about my not only my physical well being but mental as well.

Exercise can massively help keep your body strong after trauma to give you a better chance at healing. It's also been linked to lower blood pressure, anxiety and muscle tension AND improves your sleep, so what’s not to get on board with?!

5. cuddle your fur babies.

I brought my two baby bunnies home just two weeks before I got sick, so most of their lives have been with me stuck sick on the sofa, and I really turned to them for emotional support through this entire thing when I couldn’t be with my friends or family.

Studies have shown that animals can reduce loneliness, increase feelings of social support, and boost your mood, so if you have one or are maybe considering getting a pet, make sure to spend part of your day on quality time with your little companion. It’ll strengthen your bond and give you your daily dose of unconditional love.

6. get outside!

I found it so hard to get myself outside at first, but then started to venture into the garden, then did a 15 minute walk until I found I actually wanted to do a full on walk (nearly) everyday.

You don’t have to run 5k or go too extreme, but even 15 minutes outside can help clear your mind, strengthen your immune system and get more oxygen flowing through your body, lowering stress levels and blood pressure.

7. cry.

The moments in my recovery where I have felt most relieved and free of pain is when I've let it all out and sobbed. Sometimes the feelings would creep up on me with no reason at all and I knew I'd just have to let them out, I could've had the most positive day and still needed to release that pain. I'd be asked 'what's wrong' and I genuinely wouldn't have an answer, but once I had got it out, I felt so much better.

It's hard to describe all the emotions of losing something so personal to you such as your face, you feel hurt, confused as to why it had to happen to you, anger at the fact you are now like this for life and no one else around you really understands how it physically hurts to do every day tasks, but then be so happy when you see improvements - the day I saw the corner of my mouth twitch was one of the best days of my recovery so far!

But what I've noticed is that - for me anyway - most of these big emotions come with tears. You have to get them out to make sure you don't boil over or hit your tipping point, so if you feel the urge, just cry. It's the most natural reaction your body will have to all this and the best way to instantly release all that emotional pain.

So those are just some of the things I do when I know I need to give myself a bit more care and attention, like I said it can look different to everyone, but the main thing you can do is recognise what you need in that moment.

Divert your thinking back onto yourself and make the entire healing process a bit more enjoyable for yourself, you can never give yourself too much love and attention.